Happy Mother’s Day!
PTSD is ‘not an excuse’
So, what is worse than someone, a person close to you whether it’s a family member, romantic partner, acquaintance, or… Telling you that your bad behavior shouldn’t be justified because you have PTSD?
No. Nothing. Walk away.
Fog
Clouds swirl
a second in time
When I knew my mind
The lines unbroken
Pain unspoken
slowly poisoning
gray matter
What does it matter?
It all fades anyway
memories, good times and
bad times
The blur of everything lived
the bad things buried
within
do they all fade too
with the mist that becomes
us in time,
a fog that maybe, just maybe
in time
does
clear
©Sandi Martinez – O’vehlu
Resurrection
Good Friday
Contrasts
The cottonwood tree in the background you see in the above pic, is enormous. I live on about 4 acres in northern New Mexico. This tree is imposing, old, grouchy, overwhelming, as it shadows and controls the acequia around it. This tree is very old. Unfortunately, I have no clue what its true age is.
The high winds recently, have broken and stopped the fall of old, and dying branches by the other strong and healthy branches around it, cushioning the fall. All trees need trimming at some point. Overgrowth is a reality in everything. The delicate ecosystem of all we walk on, breathe, and use for whatever reason on an ecosystem level, doesn’t stop there.
In my situation, this cottonwood tree is my counterpart. I have known, climbed, and hugged this tree, for 45 years, since I was a kid, and was nimble enough. Now, all dead branches have haphazardly broken, all around this and in, this enormous tree. Some small. Some very big and would certainly cause damage to anything underneath it; most certainly a car for example, being parked underneath it.
A mirror. This tree is a mirror to me. What are the parts in me that are overgrown? Why can’t the dead branches make their way to the ground where they belong? Why are they stuck on other healthy branches? Can’t the high winds make the kick they can, to knock these dead branches to the ground, without breaking a sweat?
While cushioning the effect whether bad or negative, can be a positive, it doesn’t serve the continuum of the exosystemic benefits of this tree to everything around it. Why can’t we let go? If I could, I would take a saw to these dead branches and release them to other new and exciting possibilities.
But that’s just me.
But that’s just me.
Many blessings’ folks, Sandi
O'vehlu 