Pre-Lenten Challenge: day 29

Change of heart

Extra change in my pocket: Image credit: Sandi Martinez

The division of wealthy and the poor has never been more obvious. Stats and things like that, are null and void in this entry.

I’m rewinding a bit here. To my day running errands in Espanola, NM. As all the things I needed to do made cartwheels in my head, I saw some people on the streets with signs asking for help. Money. I wondered what brought them there – to standing out in cold weather, with cardboard writing that might bring them some change. Any change.

I thought back to my own demise not so long ago. The things I don’t talk about. The things that feel shameful and confusing. Did this young person do this to himself? Did he bring on demise and suffering to his state of being in his life? His mind? His heart? I’ll say my demise was never intentional.

I made my way to the places to do the things that needed doing. Still, the young man stayed in my mind. He was at the corner of a streetlight when I first drove into town. My brain went over item by item, the errand list that needed attending. When I was done with all errands, I made my way back home, only to find the same young man on the opposite side of the streetlights. My heart didn’t think twice. My mind asked, ‘don’t you need some change?’

I said yes, but so does this guy. No, I don’t know if he’s swindling. Lying. Inspiring doubt and sympathy from all the townsfolk. As if the universe, a.k.a, God, was conspiring for this guy, the lights turned red. I had a few moments to decide if I would give him the change I would need at some point, or, if he could use it more at that moment. My heart won out. I gave him one dollar. One dollar, really? Some of you are saying, why bother? You use that dollar. This guy’s a beggar, a no-good piece of shite. Did he go to the liquor store? The drug lord wherever? As if I don’t have my own stuff to worry about, much less a young- black hooded person who needed some money – anything.

My change of heart to give this person money – had everything to do with my ability, my heart, divine guidance, and empathy. After all, it’s just change.

Wishing you many blessings’ folks. And… will you help out a fellow human in need? Change, a few bucks, or a smile and a prayer? What does it really cost to help others? Sandi.

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