Bring yourself

Love to doodle

When was the last time you asked yourself: How are you, no really, how are you doing?

When was the last time you gave yourself a true pat on the back?

When was the last time you gave yourself a break? Not the kind that others’ define as ‘a break’?

When was the last time you asked, ‘am I really helping, or harming someone when I think it’s a good idea to offer my help?

When did you ask yourself, am I happy? If not, what can I do to get there?

When did you last ask yourself, am I good enough for others’ or is it really that I need to be good enough for myself?

When was the last time you asked yourself anything of really, true, deep, and self-loving intentions?

Many blessings,

Sandi

Emotionally bandaged

Love to doodle

Yikes… A Saturday full of weirdness. Add that to emotional growth and healing and you have a bruised heart. Maybe a mind too? I very rarely write in color. Today seems to be one of those days that you simply don’t know if you’re up, down, sideways, or laid out.

Bandaged, but not damaged.

I can’t seem to stress enough to my ego – you don’t control.

… Anything. Every breath I take isn’t mine. It’s oxygen every living energetic particle/molecule breathes. It’s the earth telling us, ‘yes, you can be here. I will breathe with you’. I’m honored to be a part of that process. To be able to live, because I can breathe. Yet, life is in, and of itself, a painful process. But God/universe/spirit/higher power, etc., has a sense of humor.

There are appears to be a fire burning in the small village where I live. It seems to have burned homes around us. I heard sirens, but it didn’t occur to me that me and my family could be burned up in an odd freak inferno, to be continued…

As I sit here writing this. It’s like, ‘well, ok, another problem on my list’. I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid of not having lived my purpose. My path. I think I’ll just end it here in case I need to quickly pack my animals and family and drive off into the sunset.

Many blessings, Sandi

Faithful Forty: Day 38

Be Love Not Fear

This post is dedicated to my brother Reve. I miss you little brother. R.I.P.: 8/28/2010.

Today, 3/27/’21, I’m thinking about my brother – he would have turned 43 today. 🎉🥳🤗♈💞.

Things I learned from my younger and only brother:

  • Don’t be stupid
  • Don’t judge other people
  • Don’t turn someone away; especially if you’re the only one that can help them
  • It’s ok to talk about the bad shit
  • It’s okay to speak your mind; just be decent about it.
  • Pray more, worry less
  • Listen to music
  • Dance to music
  • Sing a song, even if it’s off-key
  • Spend time in nature
  • Love on your animals
  • Rescue animals
  • Be kind, don’t be blind
  • Wear sunglasses that protect you from the blinding sun, but that also look cool
  • Do things that feel good, but don’t harm yourself or others
  • Don’t do drugs
  • Say no when you want to/or should
  • Live your life your way
  • Accept yourself
  • Laugh, laugh harder
  • Forgive others
  • Forgive yourself
  • Love yourself FIRST 🙏🏼

♈ is the first sign of the zodiac. Both of us are Ariens… He was the kinder one! I learned so much from him. There’s so much more I could list here. But for now, these things live in my heart, and Reve, you will always live in my heart.

Thanks for stopping by! May your day be sweet, safe, happy, and strong! Many blessings 🙏🏼 – Sandi

Faithful Forty: Lenten Poetry

Lent 2021 Poetry

The falling leaves

have drifted gently in

the breeze

Mixing with the earth

the ground fertile

mixing with air

Becoming one with

the sun

and being dipped into soft

burning embers

a spring filled with light

and in all I can delight

Why then, does my heart tear?

A look around,

my empathy flares

a look around,

beauty surrounds

Where too then shall my

Thoughts go,

If not with you in the end?

©Sandi Martinez

faithful forty: day 35

Azra (LF) and Nia

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
― Khalil Gibran

Faithful forty: day 32

3/20/201 – Spring New Mexico

“I don’t know why you are writing that.” BlueOne said blandly.

“I don’t know why you keep interrupting me.” Replied BlueTwo

“They won’t believe you.” BlueOne’s tone became rigid.

“You seem worried?” BlueTwo’s tone became kinder; softer somehow.

“I’m not worried. I’m thinking you’re wasting your time writing that.”

BlueTwo continued tapping at the keys. Sometimes making notes on a brilliant white piece of paper. And then switching back to the keypad.

“Do you see these flowers?” asked BlueTwo.

“They are right in front of me. I don’t think I became blind in the last five minutes.” BlueOne became sarcastic and sour.

“They are the product of God’s great gift. And, if they can’t be denied by other humans, then why are you so bored with God’s creation?”

BlueOne paused, deep in thought. “I don’t see flowers BlueTwo, you know that.”

“What do you see?”

“Humans stop seeing things that are beautiful – God’s blessings. In every shade of color, in every drop of water. In each sliver of blinding light in sun rays. In every fragrant breeze that carries the earth’s breath. That’s what I see.

“This is why I write this. To remind humanity of the goodness of every living thing around them. Including other humans. Animals. The earth. Why should we give up?” BlueTwo’s tone became both somber and compassionate at the same time.

“The word GOD, doesn’t impress many people.” BlueOnes’s tone became increasingly bland.

“Go then BlueTwo. We are not here to judge and scamper all over humanity. Today is marked as the first day of spring. When flowers start to bloom, and leaves begin their descent into their own 3D world. When humans start planting their gardens and flowers, and laying down grass and celebrating the new and all things ‘beginning’. I don’t need your help. I don’t need your pessimism. Humans already struggle with this daily – every second. Those who have a relationship with God/supreme being/higher power/great spirit/buddha/Dalai Lama, and so on, have one thing in common and never changes: God lives in everything, and in everyone.” BlueTwo reached to touch the pink and vibrant flowers. Their glow emanated a strange effervescence.

Speechless, BlueOne also reached down to caress the petals, and looked up to the sky. When he looked back at BlueTwo, his eyes had changed to a yellowish gold, with yellow streaks shooting across his face.

Faithful Forty: Day 31

Two chickpeas in a pod: Marissa, (left) and Ana.

Whooooosh… what a day! I’ve been enjoying my time visiting with my sis and her family. These two chickadees, gave me a run for my something… I laughed pretty hard today. Something I really needed and find I don’t do often enough.

Marissa is 16, going on 35. Ana, is 13, going on 25. I learn so much from these two. Today, we learned (as I was reminded) that sweating the small stuff distracts you and makes you forget the big stuff. If you don’t handle the small stuff with as much oooomphh as you can, what about the big stuff?

We chatted about how easily broken human beings can be. How easy it is to break skin; getting seriously ill; breaking bones; and a slew of other ailments. As depressing as this may sound (and it is), we realized that humans weren’t guaranteed endless amounts of strength and miraculous instantaneous healing, or snap-to-it genius.

We’re all just trying to figure it out as we go along.

This is my biggest, most important reminder as of late. Human, just trying to figure it out along the way.

Many blessings folks, and remember: You Are Only Human. We are heroes only to ourselves… unless you’re my nieces doing and saying amazing things that are surprising, coming from such young ladies! 🙂

Faithful Forty: Day 30

Ana, Azra, (brown spot) and Benji

As I reach my 40th post into celebrating and observing lent 2021, I’m reminded of how often I need to express gratitude. My sister and her family are visiting, and I don’t see them often. Benji is high-fiving Ana my niece, and his actions say it all!

I have 10 more posts to go. Already more than knee-deep in my spiritual observance, I don’t know what future posts will look like. I do know that I’m more aware than normal, of the sun as it gently brushes across my face; soon will turn to a bit of burning.

I’m aware of the kindness I see from strangers to other strangers. Of the support, sympathy, empathy, and caring through these difficult, stressful times.

I express great gratitude to my higher power, for all I receive and am able to give.

Many blessings folks! – Sandi 🙏🏼

Faithful Forty: Day 29

It’s all in the details

Today, I realized how fuzzy my mind can really get. Some might even call it, absent-mindedness. This pic was taken today. Can you guess what is really in this image?

That’s how life can be. We are extraordinarily stretched. So too can be our perception. What is our reality, can be someone else’s insanity.

It’s the same with what I think I heard. Just recently I was on the phone chatting away, while waiting for my car to get fixed. The person on the other end was watching over my fur-kids. I heard: ‘they’re a problem.’ What was really said: ‘I’m having fun.’ How did I get that so mixed up?

Well, I don’t like being human, but there it is. I’m only human. Next time you find yourself berating yourself: DON’T. 🙏🏼

Many blessings, Sandi

faithful forty: day 26

Abiquiu Lake, New Mexico – Photo credit: Sandi

“I have learned so much from God that I can no longer call myself a Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Buddhist, a Jew. The Truth has shared so much of Itself with me that I can no longer call myself a man, a woman, an angel, or even a pure Soul. Love has befriended me so completely it has turned to ash and freed me of every concept and image my mind has ever known.” – Hafiz

Many blessings, Sandi