Fog

Photo by wsdidin on Pexels.com

Clouds swirl

a second in time

When I knew my mind

The lines unbroken

Pain unspoken

slowly poisoning

gray matter

What does it matter?

It all fades anyway

memories, good times and

bad times

The blur of everything lived

the bad things buried

within

do they all fade too

with the mist that becomes

us in time,

a fog that maybe, just maybe

in time

does

clear

©Sandi Martinez – O’vehlu

Blackbird fly

A trip to Walmart… one full of succinct messages I never expected

Ok folks. To tell you the truth, I was just going to take a pic, post on a few social platforms, and talk about how cute and helpful this blackbird was, sitting on my car as I returned with my groceries from Walmart. I took a few pics, and when I went to make a vid out of it, I noticed the blue and yellow walls in the background.

Well, what to make of this? The horror and sadness of the war in Ukraine, hits me with sadness daily and I have to limit my YouTube time because of the amount of time I will spend scanning through all reputable media for updates. So, when I go to talk about this cute bird sitting on my car, I was smacked hard with the background colors.

I’m sharing this because the blackbird totem, speaks about protection. Protect your family, your job, your home, your friends… your country. Regardless of how painful this is to me, I will continue to scan the news, and pray, pray, and pray more. Will you?

Many blessings, Sandi

Lent – verbal read on Desiderata

Last day of Pre-Lenten Challenge. Poem, Desiderata on YouTube, read aloud by me.

On December 17th, 2021, I began my 75-day Pre-Lenten challenge. I wrote faithfully, posts that might encourage people to do things differently prior to Lent. I’m not sure of my success. But I do know this, it was a challenge for me to write daily for 75 days, daily.

I gave myself that challenge because normally, writing has a cathartic effect on me. I, however, had not been giving myself this gift. The reason why I blog. The real question for me now, is will I keep writing, even if not daily, but most certainly often? Now, let’s move on to Lent.

The three elements of Lent: Prayer, fasting, Almsgiving.

Prayer: simply put, pray more. Pray for anything and everything. What needs healing and comes from your heart.

Fasting: Sometimes this can mean sacrificing foods for a certain length of time. Lent is celebrated for 40 days. So, we give up foods we love during Lent.

Almsgiving: I really like this one, because we are more attuned to thinking about people who might need more; those who are in need, be it money, clothes, or food. This is where maybe we go through our closets and ask ourselves if we wore the same thing during the year, or even last six months? If not, you forgot you had it. Maybe give it to charity? How about close acquaintances that you might not be in touch with regularly, but you check on them via an actual phone call, just to say hi, and how are you? I can go on, and on, with this one but I also encourage you to get creative. Also, do you have to be Christian or Catholic to celebrate Lent? While I personally can’t answer that question and not offend religions, I will only say this: I observe in my own way, even though I’m neither Catholic nor Christian. I deepen, celebrate, and appreciate my relationship with God (not just during Lent).

I welcome any ideas or thoughts on Lent from you all. Today is a beautiful day in so many ways. Thank you for sharing it with me. Many blessings, Sandi.

Pre-Lenten Challenge: day 18

Be the light

A big thanks to Feliz Garcia, who has contributed today’s Pre-Lenten Challenge!

As we move around in this world that is cold, I begin to realize what is important. God’s love is what matters. I believe that we should show as much love with each person we come in contact with. It makes my day when I can make someone smile.

As we are on this journey of life, I begin to search for my life’s purpose. I believe we have been blessed with special talents. Each and every one of us has a purpose in this life. My challenge for you is to pray to God to show you what your purpose is. My purpose is to bring the light when it is dark, my inspiration from the St. Francis Prayer.

God bless you all!

My tiny face

I interrupt my pre-Lenten challenges for this Spotify episode on my tiny face… click play to listen. Thank you and I welcome any comments.

Pre-Lenten Challenge: day 29

Change of heart

Extra change in my pocket: Image credit: Sandi Martinez

The division of wealthy and the poor has never been more obvious. Stats and things like that, are null and void in this entry.

I’m rewinding a bit here. To my day running errands in Espanola, NM. As all the things I needed to do made cartwheels in my head, I saw some people on the streets with signs asking for help. Money. I wondered what brought them there – to standing out in cold weather, with cardboard writing that might bring them some change. Any change.

I thought back to my own demise not so long ago. The things I don’t talk about. The things that feel shameful and confusing. Did this young person do this to himself? Did he bring on demise and suffering to his state of being in his life? His mind? His heart? I’ll say my demise was never intentional.

I made my way to the places to do the things that needed doing. Still, the young man stayed in my mind. He was at the corner of a streetlight when I first drove into town. My brain went over item by item, the errand list that needed attending. When I was done with all errands, I made my way back home, only to find the same young man on the opposite side of the streetlights. My heart didn’t think twice. My mind asked, ‘don’t you need some change?’

I said yes, but so does this guy. No, I don’t know if he’s swindling. Lying. Inspiring doubt and sympathy from all the townsfolk. As if the universe, a.k.a, God, was conspiring for this guy, the lights turned red. I had a few moments to decide if I would give him the change I would need at some point, or, if he could use it more at that moment. My heart won out. I gave him one dollar. One dollar, really? Some of you are saying, why bother? You use that dollar. This guy’s a beggar, a no-good piece of shite. Did he go to the liquor store? The drug lord wherever? As if I don’t have my own stuff to worry about, much less a young- black hooded person who needed some money – anything.

My change of heart to give this person money – had everything to do with my ability, my heart, divine guidance, and empathy. After all, it’s just change.

Wishing you many blessings’ folks. And… will you help out a fellow human in need? Change, a few bucks, or a smile and a prayer? What does it really cost to help others? Sandi.

Pre-Lenten Challenge: day 38

Reflection

Northern New Mexico sun through trees: Image by Sandi – O’vehlu

Pre-Lenten Challenge: day 43

Buried

Gibbous moon – Jan 18, 2022: northern New Mexico

Gibbous moon meaning:

ADJECTIVE

  1. (of the moon) having the observable illuminated part greater than a semicircle and less than a circle.
    • convex or protuberant.”gibbous eyes”

January’s gibbous moon, on more astrological grounds, might have some emotional depth sweeping through internally, that might be at the core of some jealousy, guilt-tripping, emotional manipulation and overall relationship drama and yucky stuff.

This entry isn’t to give advice. Afterall, I’m embroiled in all this too. But I love the pic. I happened to go out to deal with the cat’s litter and was overcome by the beauty and power of the moon. So, I pulled out my camera, and boom, here we are. I was struck with how this resembles an eye pupil, except white. What I felt was wow, am I being watched? By whom? Why? Paranoid a bit?

Yes. We are also in mercury retrograde, Jan 14-Jan 25 – 3 Weeks of yuk. Mercury appears to be going backward but has slowed down a bit. Like the moon, the fifth planet of our solar system is playing tricks on us. The moon pulls on oceans which in turn, pulls on us emotionally. after all, we are made up of more than 75% water… Mercury rules our mental positions/dispositions. When Mercury slows, it seems like it’s going backwards. It’s not. It’s an optical illusion of sorts. So, we revisit things. Our actions. Convos come to a slow or not at all, or simply disrupted. Electronics and vehicles can also be affected.

I guess I’m just trying to say this: It’s okay to go deep emotionally. It’s okay to have communication manipulated to the point that it may be to our advantage. So, the message? FIND YOUR ADVANTAGE.

If your emotions are buried, its ok, maybe it’s time to uncover these very real and important parts of ourselves? If you are delayed for whatever reason in any and all capacities, then there’s a reason. Trust it.

Folks, be kind to yourselves. Be kind to others.

Many blessings, Sandi

Pre-Lenten Challenge: day 57

Photo by Oleg Magni on Pexels.com

The kindness in Humankind

I might have the majority of all who read this, raise your hand to waiting on long lines at Walmart, right? And well, we all can agree it’s no fun, unless you’re speaking to a complete stranger who is friendly and even offers you to cut in front of them because you only have a few items in your cart. One day amazing, but the next day? Even more amazing…

With so much natural disasters, COVID, and all the other devastating news in between, we all need more kindness, and also to be kind to others. I will note that I do this frequently for others, mostly depending on my mood – and frame of mind. I don’t do this so that I can receive good karma. I do this because it’s the right thing to do.

What is the right thing to do ultimately, and why would it depend on my mood swings? We aren’t perfect. I have bad days more than good ones unfortunately. But there’s a niggling thought in my head: What kind of selfish, mean person, wouldn’t let another person in front of them in a long line if they only have a few things?

One example, is that I had in the past, run into an odd, concerning situation. A guy at the same Walmart, had a few tools in a shopping cart. He was in front of me. Suddenly, he decided to make his way passed me to go get something else I thought. Then, it’s my turn coming up, only the guy hasn’t come back. I got the attention of a supervisor and told them that guy wasn’t going to come back, and I was ready to pay for my things. They removed the cart, I set my things on the conveyor belt, and paid for my things, with a disturbing though in my mind. The elderly woman in front of the tool guy was very vulnerable and very sweet-looking. She seemed kind. The thought that he would have tried to rob her or do something horrible came to mind. The tool guy had been wearing a hoodie. With the hood on and over his head, his shirt and pants were dirty. He was shifty, like, nervous. Now, I can tell you I’ve gone to the store with torn, dirty jeans, especially when I’m working outside or painting, or whatever plenty of times.

Does this single out a busy, and hard-working guy who doesn’t in fact look at all like he was working on anything, as a potential good guy gone rogue? I guess, yes and no. In this situation. I guess I don’t particularly expect good things to happen at Walmart, and in this town in particular. Out here in northern New Mexico.

Yesterday and today, are the exceptions to that. It gives me hope in humanity. That we can really be kind to one another. Your challenge? If it’s as simple as letting others in line in front of you because they have less items than you, well, great! If it’s something else you consider to be small and insignificant, it’s not… it’s your thoughtfulness and grace that will make someone’s day. I promise you that.

Many blessings folks, Sandi

Pre-Lenten Challenge: day 63

Divine Mother

I think about ending 2021, not with a bang, but with gratitude. My year, my experience, though quiet and filled with solitude, brought me here – back to myself.

The nurturer in me, trying hard to nurture myself. As if I’ve had to become my own mother, mothering me. Where’s the divine in that? It’s in everything a mother does.

I’ve learned thus far, caring for me isn’t selfish. In reality, I’m a mother of fur-kids. It may be more possible and easier to be selfish when you’re single, and just have dogs and plants to look after. But it’s really not that easy.

I have ageing parents. And I’m still learning that balance. What can I do for them, what can I do for me? Questions that plague adult children caregivers, of ageing parents.

So here I am, as I attempt to gently go into 2022. Because that’s what a mother does: gently ushers her children into the new.

Many blessings folks, 🙏🏼 Sandi