I think about ending 2021, not with a bang, but with gratitude. My year, my experience, though quiet and filled with solitude, brought me here – back to myself.
The nurturer in me, trying hard to nurture myself. As if I’ve had to become my own mother, mothering me. Where’s the divine in that? It’s in everything a mother does.
I’ve learned thus far, caring for me isn’t selfish. In reality, I’m a mother of fur-kids. It may be more possible and easier to be selfish when you’re single, and just have dogs and plants to look after. But it’s really not that easy.
I have ageing parents. And I’m still learning that balance. What can I do for them, what can I do for me? Questions that plague adult children caregivers, of ageing parents.
So here I am, as I attempt to gently go into 2022. Because that’s what a mother does: gently ushers her children into the new.
Many blessings folks, 🙏🏼 Sandi
Ok folks, my mom nearly twisted my arm to write this thing called, blog post.
She said people might listen to reason coming from me, because I’m adorable. So, here goes:
I understand Jesus Christ fasted, I guess, didn’t eat much – which I find hard to imagine, for 40 days and forty nights . The way Jesus talks about it to me, is, sometimes, you need to empty in order to fill up again with better things. Like, when my food bowl is empty. I’m flying by the seat of my pants here…
I guess, you can also hear better with all the silence… Heaven to my sensitive ears. I imagine walking alongside with Jesus keeping Him company… I would have scared that awful snake that tried to tempt Him. I look small, but my bark is big.
When I observe humans around me, I think it’s possible to mentally, spiritually, and emotionally fast. But humans don’t understand this simple concept: listen more, talk less; love unconditionally because this is true love; help others, because trust me, you’d want them to help you; listen to silence, it’s your best council. Simple.
I think I like writing blog posts… I’m asking my mom to let me write another post soon. So humans, are you listening?
Many blessings 🙏🏼, Azra
As I reach my 40th post into celebrating and observing lent 2021, I’m reminded of how often I need to express gratitude. My sister and her family are visiting, and I don’t see them often. Benji is high-fiving Ana my niece, and his actions say it all!
I have 10 more posts to go. Already more than knee-deep in my spiritual observance, I don’t know what future posts will look like. I do know that I’m more aware than normal, of the sun as it gently brushes across my face; soon will turn to a bit of burning.
I’m aware of the kindness I see from strangers to other strangers. Of the support, sympathy, empathy, and caring through these difficult, stressful times.
I express great gratitude to my higher power, for all I receive and am able to give.
Many blessings folks! – Sandi 🙏🏼
Today, I realized how fuzzy my mind can really get. Some might even call it, absent-mindedness. This pic was taken today. Can you guess what is really in this image?
That’s how life can be. We are extraordinarily stretched. So too can be our perception. What is our reality, can be someone else’s insanity.
It’s the same with what I think I heard. Just recently I was on the phone chatting away, while waiting for my car to get fixed. The person on the other end was watching over my fur-kids. I heard: ‘they’re a problem.’ What was really said: ‘I’m having fun.’ How did I get that so mixed up?
Well, I don’t like being human, but there it is. I’m only human. Next time you find yourself berating yourself: DON’T. 🙏🏼
Many blessings, Sandi
Ok. Okay… I’m done trying to figure out the crazy sh##, we’re all watching, listening to, and shielding our eyes from. Okay, me. My eyes, my ears; words – media and otherwise. I like watching YouTube. I enjoy so many of the cool videos out there. And I catch myself watching news clips. CNN, CNBC, NBC, PBS, WP, and the list goes on.
On top of all that, my brain grapples with multi-dimensional theories and experiences. Like, what if God is us, and we are God, and we are so miniscule in God’s form, which is formless, that we can’t even be detected in a microscope? That we are God’s cells. That we are the space in the dark energy in the universe/multiverse…
No. I’m not trying to start a religious war of any kind. I just simply look at the miracles around me. How every morning I wake up, I’ve already had a glimpse of my future. My past, long gone. How my fur-kids lavish me with love I sometimes don’t deserve. How my brain can be on a negative track, and then just like that… I’m smiling again. I have hope. Faith, that in the midst of all of our global crisis’ we will survive, but not just survive, THRIVE. Yes, my brain hurts. But I can’t imagine what would happen if I didn’t have one. I guess I wouldn’t have a blog, and you wouldn’t know I exist. So much for existentialism. Especially, when you live it every day.
So, here’s to nothingness, and everythingness… Many blessings, Sandi
Need I say more? 🤗
Apparently my fur-nieces do…
Nia: ‘Im the one to the left, my sis, Coda is my chin rest. She’s my playmate, and confidant, (is that a real word) and I just want to say, love those around you. Support and be there for them. Life is too short. (Cliche’s are fine for now.) 💕
Coda: I’m older now. Have more experience than my little sis. I don’t need cliche’s, but I will say this, ‘lean on me…’ which I believe is a song. Need I say more? 🤲🏼
I love these girls, they’re so wise! Many blessings, Sandi, Nia, and Coda.