Yikes… A Saturday full of weirdness. Add that to emotional growth and healing and you have a bruised heart. Maybe a mind too? I very rarely write in color. Today seems to be one of those days that you simply don’t know if you’re up, down, sideways, or laid out.
Bandaged, but not damaged.
I can’t seem to stress enough to my ego – you don’t control.
… Anything. Every breath I take isn’t mine. It’s oxygen every living energetic particle/molecule breathes. It’s the earth telling us, ‘yes, you can be here. I will breathe with you’. I’m honored to be a part of that process. To be able to live, because I can breathe. Yet, life is in, and of itself, a painful process. But God/universe/spirit/higher power, etc., has a sense of humor.
There are appears to be a fire burning in the small village where I live. It seems to have burned homes around us. I heard sirens, but it didn’t occur to me that me and my family could be burned up in an odd freak inferno, to be continued…
As I sit here writing this. It’s like, ‘well, ok, another problem on my list’. I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid of not having lived my purpose. My path. I think I’ll just end it here in case I need to quickly pack my animals and family and drive off into the sunset.
Ok. Okay… I’m done trying to figure out the crazy sh##, we’re all watching, listening to, and shielding our eyes from. Okay, me. My eyes, my ears; words – media and otherwise. I like watching YouTube. I enjoy so many of the cool videos out there. And I catch myself watching news clips. CNN, CNBC, NBC, PBS, WP, and the list goes on.
On top of all that, my brain grapples with multi-dimensional theories and experiences. Like, what if God is us, and we are God, and we are so miniscule in God’s form, which is formless, that we can’t even be detected in a microscope? That we are God’s cells. That we are the space in the dark energy in the universe/multiverse…
No. I’m not trying to start a religious war of any kind. I just simply look at the miracles around me. How every morning I wake up, I’ve already had a glimpse of my future. My past, long gone. How my fur-kids lavish me with love I sometimes don’t deserve. How my brain can be on a negative track, and then just like that… I’m smiling again. I have hope. Faith, that in the midst of all of our global crisis’ we will survive, but not just survive, THRIVE. Yes, my brain hurts. But I can’t imagine what would happen if I didn’t have one. I guess I wouldn’t have a blog, and you wouldn’t know I exist. So much for existentialism. Especially, when you live it every day.
So, here’s to nothingness, and everythingness… Many blessings, Sandi
I’m feeling like today is a 222 day… the angelic number that picks at me today. Somehow, I think it’s important. This little doodle appeared out of nowhere and I had to draw it out, before it faded. That’s why I’m loving doodling, because it’s divinely guided.