Happy Mother’s Day!

Fog

Photo by wsdidin on Pexels.com

Clouds swirl

a second in time

When I knew my mind

The lines unbroken

Pain unspoken

slowly poisoning

gray matter

What does it matter?

It all fades anyway

memories, good times and

bad times

The blur of everything lived

the bad things buried

within

do they all fade too

with the mist that becomes

us in time,

a fog that maybe, just maybe

in time

does

clear

©Sandi Martinez – O’vehlu

Contrasts

An enormous cottonwood dwarfed by spring growth on trees – photo: Sandi Martinez (Northern NM)

The cottonwood tree in the background you see in the above pic, is enormous. I live on about 4 acres in northern New Mexico. This tree is imposing, old, grouchy, overwhelming, as it shadows and controls the acequia around it. This tree is very old. Unfortunately, I have no clue what its true age is.

The high winds recently, have broken and stopped the fall of old, and dying branches by the other strong and healthy branches around it, cushioning the fall. All trees need trimming at some point. Overgrowth is a reality in everything. The delicate ecosystem of all we walk on, breathe, and use for whatever reason on an ecosystem level, doesn’t stop there.

In my situation, this cottonwood tree is my counterpart. I have known, climbed, and hugged this tree, for 45 years, since I was a kid, and was nimble enough. Now, all dead branches have haphazardly broken, all around this and in, this enormous tree. Some small. Some very big and would certainly cause damage to anything underneath it; most certainly a car for example, being parked underneath it.

A mirror. This tree is a mirror to me. What are the parts in me that are overgrown? Why can’t the dead branches make their way to the ground where they belong? Why are they stuck on other healthy branches? Can’t the high winds make the kick they can, to knock these dead branches to the ground, without breaking a sweat?

While cushioning the effect whether bad or negative, can be a positive, it doesn’t serve the continuum of the exosystemic benefits of this tree to everything around it. Why can’t we let go? If I could, I would take a saw to these dead branches and release them to other new and exciting possibilities.

But that’s just me.

But that’s just me.

Many blessings’ folks, Sandi

Blackbird fly

A trip to Walmart… one full of succinct messages I never expected

Ok folks. To tell you the truth, I was just going to take a pic, post on a few social platforms, and talk about how cute and helpful this blackbird was, sitting on my car as I returned with my groceries from Walmart. I took a few pics, and when I went to make a vid out of it, I noticed the blue and yellow walls in the background.

Well, what to make of this? The horror and sadness of the war in Ukraine, hits me with sadness daily and I have to limit my YouTube time because of the amount of time I will spend scanning through all reputable media for updates. So, when I go to talk about this cute bird sitting on my car, I was smacked hard with the background colors.

I’m sharing this because the blackbird totem, speaks about protection. Protect your family, your job, your home, your friends… your country. Regardless of how painful this is to me, I will continue to scan the news, and pray, pray, and pray more. Will you?

Many blessings, Sandi

Pre-Lenten Challenge: day 18

Be the light

A big thanks to Feliz Garcia, who has contributed today’s Pre-Lenten Challenge!

As we move around in this world that is cold, I begin to realize what is important. God’s love is what matters. I believe that we should show as much love with each person we come in contact with. It makes my day when I can make someone smile.

As we are on this journey of life, I begin to search for my life’s purpose. I believe we have been blessed with special talents. Each and every one of us has a purpose in this life. My challenge for you is to pray to God to show you what your purpose is. My purpose is to bring the light when it is dark, my inspiration from the St. Francis Prayer.

God bless you all!

Pre-Lent Challenge: day 21

Yes / No

The permission we give ourselves to say yes, and the amounts of times we say no, is a good indicator of how often we take care of ourselves, or others. It’s not a good thing, it’s not a bad thing. However, things do get very challenging when we can’t/don’t say no.

So, why don’t we say no more often?

Will we disappoint people? The ones that you said ‘yes’ to way too many times and now it’s nearly impossible to say no?

Just say no.

Is it really that simple? Yes and NO. Let’s start with the hard one: No. One, because as stated above, ‘yes’ has already been used enough that no is like a slap on the face. Two, it’s basically expected in some cultures to bend over backward and forward for family. And friends. Three, you will feel like a three-eyed monster and be treated that way if you say no.

So, now, yes: It’s that simple to say yes, when you can, because you’re not being asked to sell all the houses on your block for one (realtors, not included!). Two, unless it’s requesting to turn the world upside down, it’s pretty easy to help people out. … And it does feel good.

So, when to say no? When you just simply can’t. Period. End of story. Be good to you. Be good to others’ and I’m wishing you many blessings. – Sandi

Pre-Lenten Challenge: day 29

Change of heart

Extra change in my pocket: Image credit: Sandi Martinez

The division of wealthy and the poor has never been more obvious. Stats and things like that, are null and void in this entry.

I’m rewinding a bit here. To my day running errands in Espanola, NM. As all the things I needed to do made cartwheels in my head, I saw some people on the streets with signs asking for help. Money. I wondered what brought them there – to standing out in cold weather, with cardboard writing that might bring them some change. Any change.

I thought back to my own demise not so long ago. The things I don’t talk about. The things that feel shameful and confusing. Did this young person do this to himself? Did he bring on demise and suffering to his state of being in his life? His mind? His heart? I’ll say my demise was never intentional.

I made my way to the places to do the things that needed doing. Still, the young man stayed in my mind. He was at the corner of a streetlight when I first drove into town. My brain went over item by item, the errand list that needed attending. When I was done with all errands, I made my way back home, only to find the same young man on the opposite side of the streetlights. My heart didn’t think twice. My mind asked, ‘don’t you need some change?’

I said yes, but so does this guy. No, I don’t know if he’s swindling. Lying. Inspiring doubt and sympathy from all the townsfolk. As if the universe, a.k.a, God, was conspiring for this guy, the lights turned red. I had a few moments to decide if I would give him the change I would need at some point, or, if he could use it more at that moment. My heart won out. I gave him one dollar. One dollar, really? Some of you are saying, why bother? You use that dollar. This guy’s a beggar, a no-good piece of shite. Did he go to the liquor store? The drug lord wherever? As if I don’t have my own stuff to worry about, much less a young- black hooded person who needed some money – anything.

My change of heart to give this person money – had everything to do with my ability, my heart, divine guidance, and empathy. After all, it’s just change.

Wishing you many blessings’ folks. And… will you help out a fellow human in need? Change, a few bucks, or a smile and a prayer? What does it really cost to help others? Sandi.

Pre-Lenten Challenge: day 38

Reflection

Northern New Mexico sun through trees: Image by Sandi – O’vehlu

Pre-Lenten Challenge: day 43

Buried

Gibbous moon – Jan 18, 2022: northern New Mexico

Gibbous moon meaning:

ADJECTIVE

  1. (of the moon) having the observable illuminated part greater than a semicircle and less than a circle.
    • convex or protuberant.”gibbous eyes”

January’s gibbous moon, on more astrological grounds, might have some emotional depth sweeping through internally, that might be at the core of some jealousy, guilt-tripping, emotional manipulation and overall relationship drama and yucky stuff.

This entry isn’t to give advice. Afterall, I’m embroiled in all this too. But I love the pic. I happened to go out to deal with the cat’s litter and was overcome by the beauty and power of the moon. So, I pulled out my camera, and boom, here we are. I was struck with how this resembles an eye pupil, except white. What I felt was wow, am I being watched? By whom? Why? Paranoid a bit?

Yes. We are also in mercury retrograde, Jan 14-Jan 25 – 3 Weeks of yuk. Mercury appears to be going backward but has slowed down a bit. Like the moon, the fifth planet of our solar system is playing tricks on us. The moon pulls on oceans which in turn, pulls on us emotionally. after all, we are made up of more than 75% water… Mercury rules our mental positions/dispositions. When Mercury slows, it seems like it’s going backwards. It’s not. It’s an optical illusion of sorts. So, we revisit things. Our actions. Convos come to a slow or not at all, or simply disrupted. Electronics and vehicles can also be affected.

I guess I’m just trying to say this: It’s okay to go deep emotionally. It’s okay to have communication manipulated to the point that it may be to our advantage. So, the message? FIND YOUR ADVANTAGE.

If your emotions are buried, its ok, maybe it’s time to uncover these very real and important parts of ourselves? If you are delayed for whatever reason in any and all capacities, then there’s a reason. Trust it.

Folks, be kind to yourselves. Be kind to others.

Many blessings, Sandi

Pre-Lenten Challenge: day 57

Photo by Oleg Magni on Pexels.com

The kindness in Humankind

I might have the majority of all who read this, raise your hand to waiting on long lines at Walmart, right? And well, we all can agree it’s no fun, unless you’re speaking to a complete stranger who is friendly and even offers you to cut in front of them because you only have a few items in your cart. One day amazing, but the next day? Even more amazing…

With so much natural disasters, COVID, and all the other devastating news in between, we all need more kindness, and also to be kind to others. I will note that I do this frequently for others, mostly depending on my mood – and frame of mind. I don’t do this so that I can receive good karma. I do this because it’s the right thing to do.

What is the right thing to do ultimately, and why would it depend on my mood swings? We aren’t perfect. I have bad days more than good ones unfortunately. But there’s a niggling thought in my head: What kind of selfish, mean person, wouldn’t let another person in front of them in a long line if they only have a few things?

One example, is that I had in the past, run into an odd, concerning situation. A guy at the same Walmart, had a few tools in a shopping cart. He was in front of me. Suddenly, he decided to make his way passed me to go get something else I thought. Then, it’s my turn coming up, only the guy hasn’t come back. I got the attention of a supervisor and told them that guy wasn’t going to come back, and I was ready to pay for my things. They removed the cart, I set my things on the conveyor belt, and paid for my things, with a disturbing though in my mind. The elderly woman in front of the tool guy was very vulnerable and very sweet-looking. She seemed kind. The thought that he would have tried to rob her or do something horrible came to mind. The tool guy had been wearing a hoodie. With the hood on and over his head, his shirt and pants were dirty. He was shifty, like, nervous. Now, I can tell you I’ve gone to the store with torn, dirty jeans, especially when I’m working outside or painting, or whatever plenty of times.

Does this single out a busy, and hard-working guy who doesn’t in fact look at all like he was working on anything, as a potential good guy gone rogue? I guess, yes and no. In this situation. I guess I don’t particularly expect good things to happen at Walmart, and in this town in particular. Out here in northern New Mexico.

Yesterday and today, are the exceptions to that. It gives me hope in humanity. That we can really be kind to one another. Your challenge? If it’s as simple as letting others in line in front of you because they have less items than you, well, great! If it’s something else you consider to be small and insignificant, it’s not… it’s your thoughtfulness and grace that will make someone’s day. I promise you that.

Many blessings folks, Sandi