I think about ending 2021, not with a bang, but with gratitude. My year, my experience, though quiet and filled with solitude, brought me here – back to myself.
The nurturer in me, trying hard to nurture myself. As if I’ve had to become my own mother, mothering me. Where’s the divine in that? It’s in everything a mother does.
I’ve learned thus far, caring for me isn’t selfish. In reality, I’m a mother of fur-kids. It may be more possible and easier to be selfish when you’re single, and just have dogs and plants to look after. But it’s really not that easy.
I have ageing parents. And I’m still learning that balance. What can I do for them, what can I do for me? Questions that plague adult children caregivers, of ageing parents.
So here I am, as I attempt to gently go into 2022. Because that’s what a mother does: gently ushers her children into the new.
As hard as it is to believe, every bottle is lovingly, and carefully measured with all natural ingredients: Holy Water from the River Jordan, sea salt, purified water, and lavender essential oil. Sometimes, the measurements vary slightly. I don’t think or worry about it. Each bottle is made for that special someone.
I am divinely guided to make and share this unique blend: equivalent to lighting up sage sticks, or the like, these 2.7oz bottles serve the same purpose: to cleanse, purify, protect, and add an amazing scent to go along with it!
As I set to work to make these, I felt an immediate sense of calm and peace. Made to fit easily in any space, this is convenient, instant refreshing calm, and well, however it’s meant to assist you.
Ok folks, my mom nearly twisted my arm to write this thing called, blog post.
She said people might listen to reason coming from me, because I’m adorable. So, here goes:
I understand Jesus Christ fasted, I guess, didn’t eat much – which I find hard to imagine, for 40 days and forty nights . The way Jesus talks about it to me, is, sometimes, you need to empty in order to fill up again with better things. Like, when my food bowl is empty. I’m flying by the seat of my pants here…
I guess, you can also hear better with all the silence… Heaven to my sensitive ears. I imagine walking alongside with Jesus keeping Him company… I would have scared that awful snake that tried to tempt Him. I look small, but my bark is big.
When I observe humans around me, I think it’s possible to mentally, spiritually, and emotionally fast. But humans don’t understand this simple concept: listen more, talk less; love unconditionally because this is true love; help others, because trust me, you’d want them to help you; listen to silence, it’s your best council. Simple.
I think I like writing blog posts… I’m asking my mom to let me write another post soon. So humans, are you listening?
The deep blackness blanketed me. A vortex bubbling underneath me, as if to remind me I can be swallowed. But instead, shards of wide and encompassing light shown through; the pictures emerging clearly, only to be obscured by shadows.
A clean piece of paper. Words written on it that can’t be read. A language spoken by God. This language passed on to angels. The words and symbols get sharpened. And events on the page take on a chaotic, fogged image. The remaining light and shadows, zero in on more symbols, and words. I don’t know what this means. Only that it churns with intensity and power. As if I have to understand it. Yet, I can’t, yet I do.
I got here in this place, because I relaxed my entire body and quieted my mind. My brain became the cauldron of thought, experience, and wisdom shown from God. An outpouring of divine truth, written not in the stars, but a stack of papers. I heard nothing as I lay still. The night stretching into morning, a future I don’t know yet exists. A message one of many, directly from God.
Do I hear His voice? Yes, but it’s not like a human voice. The words are in English, the language I do speak and understand; the meaning foreign and yet familiar. The words on paper not written in ink, but with something else. What does God want to tell me? Is He answering my plea for answers?
As the dark expands, it closes in at the same time. And the vortex becomes an opening. The words, letters, and symbols becoming clearer as if magnified intentionally. Dragging over each patch of knowledge like a sweeping light in a lighthouse, only it’s within me – my entire being.
They look like actual letters of our alphabet. I think I understand.
But maybe that’s the beauty of meditation. Maybe It’s the intention I set. Not to understand words in language understood or spoken, but to experience the magic of getting there. The vast universe, maybe multiverses, and the beauty that exists within them. The violent energetic currents that make, and end stars. Black holes that can’t be seen but admired from a distance as the hole devours everything on its path. The convenience of not having to make a shuttle or aircraft to get to space. That we can touch it with our minds without having to ever leave our physical bodies as we are in them.
It dawns on me now; how truly vast and miraculous God is. In fact, it’s not knowable really. An existence that is not or never will resemble humanity, yet we are His creation. I stumbled upon this form of meditation and I don’t know if I can experience it again. It took a lot of energy and openness to get there in the first place. And in the end, it’s not about a repeatable experience, but rather a successful one. A sacred bond, with no limits. Blessings.